I'm on a Train

05/07/05

I'm on a Train

(Tom Wright is sitting on a train. He is pouring over the contents of his briefcase laid out on the table in front of him. He dials a number on his mobile phone. No reply. He tries another number.)

Tom: Geoff: where've you been?.... You've been there in the office! Why have I had to phone you on your mobile phone then? What's wrong with the office phone?.... What?..... Listen, take it easy. Sit down.... You can't! Why not?.... They've taken everything? Chairs? Desks?.... They had no right to take those things yet.... Listen to me... Geoff... Listen... Take it easy and sit down.... Okay, well sit on the floor.... I know things are difficult. It's difficult for all of us. You're not the only one suffering, you know..... Of course there's your wife to think of.... I know you have marital problems - don't we all!

(He holds the phone away from his ear and leers at it.)

Tom: Now listen to me. Are you sitting down?.... On the floor! Good... yes.... right: the contract.... Yes, I've got it right here... somewhere....

(He moves papers around.)

Tom: Hold on, I'm still looking for it... I'll find it.... Of course it's hard sitting on the floor.... They took the carpets as well? The joys of going bust!.... No Geoff, just a joke, we're not going bust, not quite.... What's that? I can't hear you, you're mumbling... Okay, so you're crying. Geoff we are all crying. Now listen: I've got it right here. (Paper in hand) The contract Geoff, the contract. It's got his signature on it. James Grant agrees to let us develop his machine etc. etc. etc. Signed... Well yes, he did threaten to take it to them but Trenchard and Bowles don't have his signature on a contract do they?... Of course, that's what I'm doing.... Yes, I'm on a train... Yes, to Edinburgh.... No not to see Grant, to see his mother, show her the contract, get hold of his designs which I know she has and... Why not see him? Listen Geoff, this will cheer you up a lot: I can't see him because he's dead.... This morning.... Yes.... How do I know? His mother told me on the phone. Soon as I knew, I had to leave for Edinburgh to see her, get the designs, back in business Geoff.... No, I don't know what he died of, but does it matter? - the design is now ours. So pick yourself up off that stone cold floor..... You feel better? Good.... You thought of doing what?... Geoff, I know things have been bad but they're not that bad. You're a young, fairly young, man; you've got your life before you... What? The window!... It's no solution.... It's a hell of a long drop down. (Chuckles) Eight floors, Geoff, eight floors... Bit of a mess if you jumped from there.... Right, so you've changed your mind. Good.... Yes, you sound better.... That's right - relief! Okay Geoff: you stay there, hold the fort, and stay away from the window.... Right.... Cheers.

(He rings off, breathes a sigh of relief, kisses the paper with Grant's signature on. The phone rings.)

Tom: Hello? Tom Wright here.... Sally? You?.... Hold on.... just keep calm.... I know it's difficult.... What? The bailiffs've been there too? They've been to the office and taken everything and now they've taken everything from my own home!... Well, Sally, that's what happens when you go bust.... I don't know what we're going to do Darling.... Just sit down and... No chairs!... Listen, we'll have to think this through and not do anything drastic... Sally, Sally.... Listen to me Sally there's no need for.... Kill yourself indeed! Now that Sally would be a very silly idea indeed, and not, at this present moment in time, a particularly helpful one... Darling, things will turn out.... Listen Sally: I'm on a train and on my way to see a very important person about a contract that could mean the life or death of my.... our Company.... I know there is no Company worth talking about at this present mo.... That's not true, I do care, I care a lot, I really do.... There's no need to cry. Please don't cry.... Go and see your doctor, what's his name... that's the one: Doctor Frobisher; make an appointment with him and don't think things like leaving me and things.... Sally, we are all crying. Geoff is crying, I'm crying.... Okay, they aren't real tears but I'm crying here inside.... I do love you Sal.... Sally? She's rung off.

(He rings her but there's no answer.)

Tom: Answer Sally, answer.

(He phones another number.)

Tom: It's me.... Who do you think it is? It's me, your father.... OK, so we're not talking, but this is an emergency. It's about your mother. I was just speaking to her; she's depressed as hell and threatening all sorts of things.... Yes.... The Company's gone bust you see, and the bailiffs have taken everything from the house.... Everything, yes.... Well I don't know about your wendy house but at this present moment in time I have rather more important things to think about.... Now listen Christine, your mother's at home depressed and won't answer the phone. Go round and see her before she does something stupid.... I don't know 'like what'; like going off somewhere or taking tablets or something.... OK, so I'm a jerk.... And I'm that too.... And that.... How dare you call me that Christine! For God's sake get round there quick instead of standing there insulting me. By the way is 'it' there with you - the millenium's greatest layabout?.... Don't suppose he's found a job yet!.... Thought not.... He may want to speak to me but I can't say I want to speak to him... Don't put him on...

(He holds the phone away from his ear a while and winces.)

Tom: Finished?

(Again he holds the phone from him.)

Tom: Greg, you have a wonderfully colourful vocabulary: the eloquence, the turn of phrase, the way you use four letter words as nouns, adjectives, verbs, even pronouns - though I don't suppose you know what pronouns are...

(Another ear-full of abuse from Greg.

Tom: Greg.... Greg.... Never mind what I am; has Christine gone to see her mother?.... Good.... And the same to you - with knobs on!

(He rings off.
He undoes his tie knot and sighs, takes a drink of something, puts some of the papers away.
The phone rings.)

Tom: Hello.... Yes, Tom Wright here.... Hello Mrs Grant, I'm on my way to see you. I'm on the train.... Huh? Why not bother?.... He's what?.... But you told me this morning that he was dead.... Just fainted.... I see: phoned to say he was all right... I see... I can understand your relief Mrs Grant, but let me tell you, your son's sudden resurrection, so to speak, places me in a very difficult position, business-wise.... Mrs Grant, this is no time for singing.... Mrs Grant, where is your son at this moment in time?.... Huh? What's he doing there?... Quite. But why should he be on holiday while his business associates are here on trains and in offices and what-not thinking he's dead?.... I may, indeed, sound a trifle peevish but really your son is causing me a good deal of trouble: dead this morning, alive this afternoon!.... Stop crying please.... Mrs Grant, we are all crying. I'm crying, my Assitant Director is crying, my wife is crying.... OK, so you're crying with relief and I can understand - (suddenly) Mrs Grant: has he been in contact with any other company?.... (Desperately) Trenchard and Bowles! No, not Trenchard and Bowles! Mrs Grant: did he sign anything?.... No, I know you don't interest yourself in these things but... What? They paid for his holiday! (Hand over mouth) Bastards! (Hand away) OK, tell me this: do you know where he is staying in the South of France?.... Nice. And the name of the hotel?.... The Negresco. You don't happen to have the phone number of the hotel do you?.... No, I thought you wouldn't, somehow. Well thanks Mrs Grant; I'll ring off now.... No, I won't be calling on you after all though (Looks out of the window) it looks as if I'll end up in Edinburgh just the same. Bye.

(He rings off and dials a number)

Tom: Directory enquiries? Can you give me the number please of the Negresco Hotel in Nice, France?

(Waits a while then writes down the telephone number.)

Tom: Thank you.

(He rings off then dials the number.)

Tom: Hello. Do you speak English?.... O!.... Excuse moi s'il vous plais, mais have you... er... 'avex vous a man, homme, named, er, appelled James Grant?.... Yes, oui, I'll wait....

(Wipes his brow, takes his tie off, undoes his shirt at the top button.)

Tom: Yes, oui.... Slower please, numero un, cinque, quartre. 154. Put me through, er, ring. er, telephone chambre 154 s'il vous plais.... Merci. (Waits while he gets through to 154) Who am I? You want to know who I am. It's Tom Wright here, your erstwhile partner.... Yes, I'm on my way to Edinburgh to see your mother to convey my deepest regrets at your sudden demise, except that you are alive and kicking.... O, not kicking.... I see, bonking.... So you sold out to the highest bidder eh?.... You'd already signed an agreement with me - I've got it right here (Picks it up).... You what? Signed with your left hand! How low can you get Grant? What sort of a person changes his mind?.... You may think it's legal, mate, but listen to me.... What? They've already made a prototype? They can't have... Yes I expect you have better things to do than talk to me, and tell that hooker with you to stop giggling. Did Trenchard and Bowles pay for her too?.... Grant? Grant? He's rung off.

(He buries his face in his hands. The phone rings.)

Tom: .... Hello?.... What's your mother up to Christine?.... She's not home.... Have you tried her sister's?.... What about that friend of hers... not there! Damn.... No Christine, I can't turn around and come back; I'm nearly in Scotland. Hear? (He holds the phone in the air) On a train.... Never mind why.... Listen: call that doctor she sees, that psychiatrist, see if she's there.... Doctor Frobisher. His office is directly across the street from our company office. Call him.... Well, look him up in the book.... do that please and ring me back ASAP.... No, I don't want to speak to Greg... No...

(He holds the phone from him and winces.)

Tom: Why don't you try it with the cat Greg?

(He rings off. The phone rings.)

Tom: Geoff.... Where've I been? Where do you think I've been? I've been sitting on this train for hours on my way to see a woman whose son, I believed, and hoped, was dead.... That's right, he's not. In fact he's very much alive.... No, not alive and kicking exactly.... Don't start crying again.... Geoff, listen to me please.... Well no, he's signed a contract with.... Precisely: Trenchard and Bowles. And he says they've made a machine and it's working.... Yes Geoff, which, as you so graphically put it, will ensure the complete and utter collapse of our company.... I know: our stuff is now obsolescent - like us!.... Exactly: James Grant's machine will in future do, on its own, without manpower what ours did with.... Well, no it's not the end of everything. Why do you always speak in such apocalyptic terms Geoff......

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